Decided I needed to brighten up my wardrobe for summer, introduce a few patterns and florals, find a dress that was nice and short. And find my first-ever playsuit. OK, my second, if you include that strapless hot pink Juicy Couture towelling one I bought in Harvey Nichols last year in a moment of WAGness and wore that same night at a spontaneous party thrown by a multi-millionaire playboy in a secret London club (I drank too much champagne and decided to change into the inappropriate playsuit in the toilet, then the next day hungoverly wondered how I could have lost my bra).
Anyway, so I decided that THIS playsuit should be sophisticated, stylish and understated. Everything the last one wasn’t basically.
So I went to TopShop.
And within minutes I found what I was looking for – this natty little number with a draped front and back and just-the-right-length-to-show-a-bit-of-thigh-without-trying-to-pretend-I’m-18 shorts. And wonder of wonders, it looks good with The Boots. Not that that was the number one criteria or anything…
Playsuit sorted, on to the dress. I had vaguely clocked that Barbara Hulanicki of Biba fame had designed a range for TopShop, but it wasn’t until I saw the clothes with my very own eyes that I realised how beeyootiful they were. I made a beeline for this uber-short reddy-orange skater dress with spots on it (although since my Dorothy Perkins tunic debacle I was unsure about giving it the ‘dress’ moniker straight away). Amazingly they had a size 10, and amazingly the slightly comical shoulder pads didn’t look too comical when on and miraculously served to whittle me a waist.
The Barbara dress got its first outing that very night (TopShop let me change in its changing rooms – very kind – as I’d just bought a pair of fab black studded gladiator Office sandals too, and thought the combo would be perfect with bare legs and the leather jacket I was wearing).
And it did look lovely in the changing room. And it still looked lovely going up the escalator. And as I crossed the shop floor. However, when I stepped outside I realised the error of my ways. Because although it wasn’t massively windy outside, the smallest gust threatened to whip the short, light skirt above knicker level. I have never had such a terrifying or uncomfortable 10 minute walk – picture me with folds of fabric in one hand, and my new Miu Miu purple handbag pinning it down on the other side. I was nearly at the restaurant where I was meeting the husband when a girl came up to me.
Girl: ‘Er, I don’t mean to startle you – your bag…
Me: *what?! What about my bag?! Has someone attacked it? Stolen it? Thrown paint all over it? OH GOD!*
Girl: ‘…is mostly covering it, so don’t worry, but your dress is, er, well, I can see your knickers.’
Me: *sensing unbelievable relief, give girl a big smile which clearly makes her think that this is the best news I’ve heard all day* ‘Oh! Thanks so much! That’s great! Well, not great, but…’
Girl: *looking proper scared and suddenly starting to pick up the pace* ‘No problem, just thought you might like to know…’
So now on I will only be wearing the dress with thick leggings. Or with hotpants. Or when I’m drunk and don’t care and have my best pants on.
That’s hilarious! It’s happened to me so many times…you’d think I’d learn wouldn’t you? The Hulanicki dress is a dream…I was tempted by it but the length told me otherwise. x x
Brilliant, well the scenario is not but the story is.
I’m suffering today with a similar affliction, the short dress + tights + static energy = previously suitable floral dress is now skin tight and highly inappropriate for the office.
xxx